Today a friend posted…
Today I had a friend post that they were having a midlife crisis. I, too am having a crisis. A call came in from Munising and another person is also in crisis. I have decided it is Autumn Equinox (upcoming) and we are responding to that time of introspection where we look at the year behind us and the remaining year ahead of us. As artists we may be refelcting at our lack of development or achievemnt–frustrated, wanting more time, needing more space, wanting more resources.
It is Harvest. I am reminding myself that it is Harvest. Fruits are all around us.
Yet, my emotions spill over. I cannot stop tears. I want to shake the earth and have it respond. Or I want to crawl in the hole that my Toad Shaman dug and hide and eat bugs.
Ya know he dug the hole under the baby bush near the thyme and lemon marigold facing the pond and waterfall. He knows how to make a home. I wish I did. But I feel displaced and uproooted.
This life’s lesson has always been about making a home where I go. As a runaway I was never in one place long. As a single mother I moved yearly. Now as a grandmother I want stability.
I want murals and trees. A place to retreat (and create in) that is quiet with a breeze that is cool. I want love, family, and respect. I want my right arm to heal. Fatigue to be a thing of the past. Commitment and a future. Magic. Romance. And dragonflies dancing on the pond.
And to get over myself and my emotions that today are too much.