Free Write Fling, October 2, 2007
Before a migraine, I get forgetful. Not in the selective sense. In fact, it is almost the things I intend to remember that escape me.
This past Saturday we headed to camp. I imagined the trailer behind the SUV, Mike making wide turns to accommodate the length. When he dropped me at the coffee house, I circle round the front of the vehicle as I imagined the blue metal trailer behind. Mike would go do billing at work and we would meet up afterward and continue out to camp. I finished my writing first and walked over to his work. Hopped in the truck. Then we headed to camp. I went down the trail to snap photos. When I returned, I asked Mike where the trailer is.
“The trailer is at home.”
Confusion. Fog. How had I missed at several opportunities to see the trailer was not there?
These moments might cause another person alarm. To me they have become indicators that a migraine looms.
Some migraines are now tolerable. I can work past them. Yet the fog is there. If I have meds, the days afterward are crisp and clear. If I have no meds, the clarity is slow to return.
Before a migraine, I might have an aura. I might have problems typing or writing. Words in sentences will be out of sequence. Speed of typing is diminished. Bright lights and loud sharp noises are a problem. I here things that others cannot, hum, white noise, ringing noises.
I remember the first aura; I reached for Mike as he passed the bed on morning. I was still wrapped in covers. The sheets cool and crisp. I reached for his robe and missed. He appeared all silver and shiny and I turned to look outward the sliding doors of the living room and bright light illumined Mike in rainbows of color. The migraine hit within minutes.
I feel migraines behind my right eye. They call them right ocular migraines. A doctor said they are normal especially if I have been getting headaches behind my right eye my whole life. The frightful thing about some migraines is the cold trickle of fluid I feel in my right temple area. The fact that my cognitive abilities are affected. That I am more open to the dimensions beyond this one. Migraines have increased in my 40s and Migraines come with barometer shifts or with stress and exhaustion. Mold triggers migraines.
I want to do more art while in the grip of a migraine. I want to try harder to work and function during episodes. I do not want them to slow me down. But I am aware that a migraine is slowing me down as a way to heal. Making my body and mind still. As a healer, I know these things and more. There is something I am supposed to hear, and process.
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These photos were taken with a DXG DXG 506v a 5.1 megapixel camera.