Free Write Fling, February 7, 2008
At a Crawl?
Today I write on the chalkboard at school, “Your substitute today is Ms. Nixon” and under this I pen, “Whose grand baby crawled today.”
During my prep hour I make a quick call to tell my daughter happy birthday and receive the good news, Liam has crawled!
I am teaching in a school that is used to my stories and enthusiasm and soon they are happy and smiling with me.
Today I am teaching at Ishpeming High School, a building that is full of tradition, wood moldings, marble staircases, stages in the back of English room framed out in old dark wood. Some of the chalkboards are slate like the one in Tom Clancy’s English room on the third floor.
Teaching comes natural enough for me, but I rather be their counselor. I can spend hours motivating students, listening to their stories, and sharing how we can with the right attitude change and achieve in our communities and beyond. I learned this about myself during the year I served as an Americorps worker in Gwinn Middle School. That was the 2002-03 school year.
Since then I have made so many life changes. I went to massage school and due to injury have closed my practice. I have held what many consider too many jobs as I search for what comes next. At times, this endless search seems aimless and although I have friends that remind me, I am awesome at looking for open doors– I feel most of them being closed. I am forty-four and overweight. I still have dreams but the energy is eluding me. I am trying to dig deep.
Tomorrow I go to my doctor to talk about my arm (injury that closed my practice), my migraines, and weight.
What comes next for me?
How do I feel about this free write?
Vulnerable. Searching. Questing.