Magic and Migraine
If you believe in the saying, “everything happens for a reason” you could come to the consensus that my migraine last Friday kept me right where I needed to be.
Since my recovery from chronic fatigue, I have occasions where my body spasms sometimes causing back, arm and/or neck pain, migraines or a numbness in my legs. If I had medical insurance perhaps, a label would have been found by now. I usually ride these pauses in my life out with massage, chiropractic, cherry and blueberry concoctions, and other supplements all in the hopes of balancing out my chemical and physical being.
Frustrating, these pauses, when I had worked so hard to get my weight down and now I have to “take it easy” while things calm down. I want to be riding my bike, hiking, and ripping through the gardens with joy.
As a healer, many people say to me-just work on yourself-why can’t you heal yourself? I tell them it is not about my will or my ability. It is a pause and I have to be aware and listen to why I am again, here.
Last Thursday as a migraine was coming on I took note of where my physical body was: a tendon in my neck at C6 that travels down to my first rib taunt and burning on the rib attachment; My right hip raised and rotated; Back pain radiating through my lumbar; Numbness and burning down my inner thighs; Psoas attachment on my lesser trocanter of my right thigh sensitive to touch. Luckily, I received the gift of a free massage in exchange for an earlier kindness.
That day I was able to release most of my worries, and the migraine subsided. I arrived out in Houghton to watch my son play softball in the rain. We cooked fajitas and watched movies that night. The next day I was to take my framed and matted photos to Hancock. I did not know I would be blindsided with the worst migraine so far this year.
The next day, I limped home making stops to close my eyes and regain depth perception so I could drive safely, I could have been angry. Instead, I pushed back regrets on the missed photo opportunities and the mantra of, “everything happens for a reason” kept me centered. I reminded myself of what was truly important. Safety. Making it home to Mike in one piece and knowing his touch would help me release the pressure in my head.
There is a difference, I think, in being driven and being led. Allowing for guidance. Why all this manifests in my body as physical pain I do not know. I could have kept frantically pushing last Friday taking more photos, discovering new locales, and I did for a while. But the force mounted, more and more insistent, leading me home. Finally, I surrendered and acknowledged that force.
A dear friend once took me down to my energetic self in a counseling session. I had been dealing with chronic fatigue and pain. She took away layers of being and finally asked what I was. A Quark. A blue speck of light.
I am not this physical body. I am an energetic being. Today as I sit here at my keyboard, I still ponder why my legs are numb. I will never stop questioning because I hope it is leading me to answers, some knowledge that I can help share with others.
Note: These are photos captured with a Canon s5 (borrowed from Mike) in Hubbell, Michigan. They are the ruins of a stamping mill. Copper was extracted from rock using htis method. Stamping MIlls dot the shores of the Copper Country most of these areas have or are going thruogh remediation. For more history on Copper Mining visit here.
Posted on June 18, 2008, in Holistic Health, Migraine Art, Ordinary Day and tagged chiropractic, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, coping, energetic being, fibromyalgia, headaches, holisitc health, Holistic Health, Massage, Michigan, migraines, physical manifestations of pain, Stamping Mill Ruins outside Hubbell, surviving. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.