21.5.800 Day Seven

(Unedited)

I started a path late in 2008 when I stated I would not be a fat pigeon in winter!  My weight had fluctuated between 194 and 204 for nearly a decade. I hated bending down to tie my shoes, boots, and being active was embarrassing. I was not as large as some who appear on the Biggest Loser but I was certainly uncomfortable and embarrassed by my inability to lose weight.

In the beginning of 2009 I signed up in Health Seekers at the YMCA, I was already losing weight successfully but fitness needed to be addressed. I hit injury after injury but kept moving. I would adjust routines, change to new activities and by May, I was running.

My weight is now 143-145 pounds, successful kept off since December of 2009.

In December, I hit a new crisis. I could not eat. I kept losing, too fast. I was in pain.

January 13, 5-days before my 46 birthday, test results came back suggesting gluten-intolerance. I made appointments to see a gastroenterologist and by March, we knew I had a genetic disease called Celiac. The damage to my intestines would not allow me to digest: corn, soy, dairy/casien, and glutens were something I would have to avoid for the rest of my life.

I began to have serious doubts on whether I changed my weight, or was it only celiac Disease (CD) that had caused my body to lose weights by malnourishing my body?

I spent 4.5 hours in the garden this past Sunday and I know I could have never done that prior to losing weight. I am more fit than I have been since my 20s and maybe even more fit than I was in my 20s.

CD came about, but I was the one changing my lifestyle, choosing to run, to eat well, ride bike, and do jumping jacks on commercials. I went from hating the shouting powerful Jillian Michaels to understanding her. I am a big fan of The Biggest Loser. Why? Because it shows that even a person with health challenges, disease, and dysfunction can CHANGE.

I can change anything I chose to put my mind to.

I can heal from CD. I will always have CD but I can become healthy, again. I can help my digestive tract. I can choose proper and optimum foods to heal my body. I can keep up with fitness. I can address stress. I can help my immune function with everyday choices.

This I know.

I also know that my body and mind have certain limitations and I cannot be superhuman. I cannot force it past the edge. I must meet by body where it is each day and do what I can. (That does not mean I can choose laziness).

Some have said I share too much of the negative story. I am working on that. I do not see myself as a negative person but I am “real” and “human.”

Spontaneous healings occur and I accept them.

Abundance comes from new and exciting places and I accept this too.

But as you may understand living with a genetic disorder, an autoimmune disorder is costly. Caring for the body, healing the body is a commitment not only in mind/heart/soul but also in pocket book.

Commitments I have made to myself are to start and Etsy store this year. To write an eBook this year. To get a full website location where I can accept pay/sales. Offer downloads and such.

I must develop a timeline and pull together a supportive team.

I know I can initiate change in my life. Just as I lost 60+ pounds, I can do this, too.

I can raise my abundance and my creative levels and support myself in that which heals me. Art.

I can sing the second verse of the song (wink).

I do not have to assign myself a backseat pass. I can have full access to everything I desire and dream. But work needs to be done. I have to clear out and make room for all the wild wonderful things that are happening, now. For if I get fearful and put on the brakes, I am self-sabotaging.

The reflection in the mirror that for years I avoided and for the last year has stopped me in my tracks because I did not recognize my new fit self—well I recognize her now and I am a winner.

That’s who I am. I am a winner!

Some people go “oh poor you!  You have CD. You cannot eat pizza! You can never have Pepsi. And so on and so forth. I tell them I am RICH! I am lucky! I am a winner! I have a wealth of things I can eat. I am alive.

To borrow another phrase from Alice in Wonderland, “I make the path!”

Word Count: 808

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About kimnixon

Upper Peninsula Michigan Artist and Writer

Posted on June 15, 2010, in Ordinary Day and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. The Biggest Loser is a terrible show because it encourages unhealthy levels of compulsive exercise, severe calorie restriction, and dangerously rapid weight loss.

    Here’s an interview with a former TBL finalist. This show does not encourage wellness. It’s only a matter of time before someone dies as a result of these extreme tactics.

    http://www.bodylovewellness.com/2010/06/16/kai-hibbard-biggest-loser-finalist-part-2-of-3/

  2. Hi Ann–I will check out the link.

    Just to clarify though I lost weight very slowly over the course of 1.5 years. I do not do the level of exercise they do.

    What I value of the show is people can change. I think it does motivate people to get off the couch.

    It is an extreme show and method.

    Thanks for the info and for your opinion.

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