Prayers & Questions

03122011_prayers-5297 copy

It has been a week of muscles spasms and no exercise accept for a 90-minute restorative yoga class at St Paul’s in Marquette. I did not even feel like taking photos today. I just felt like crying. Thank goodness, I am blessed with a man who can lay beside me until I calm.

I chose a different adventure. To the Marquette Food Co-op for dinner fixings and a trip to Every Day Wines for a bottle of wine.

I know nothing of wine. I am nervous it will make my condition worse. But I am hoping, too for a bit of relaxation.

My muscles spasms have raged this week, at times incapacitating me. Then sometimes they are just annoying. I almost cried at the Marquette Historical Center when I was up on the second floor trying to shoot the dome straight up and a lean to the railing almost dropped me to my knees.

My legs are even sore. (They were not the week I ran three times.)

The cramps and spasms started Sunday (today is Saturday) on the trails of Presque Isle. My body had gone into a fit. I call these flare-ups. I hurt from between my shoulders, to my toes.

Some weeks I can run 3 times for a total of 8-9 miles, go to yoga, help with a special needs swim, and hike. I can shovel snow. I can do my job with ease. Then the next week a flare has me in its grip. All I can bring forth are tears.

I thought long today on “nests” and “nesting” how I wanted to be cradled and lulled.
Some may ask, “Kim, why are you writing this and why so negative?”

It is not that I am trying to dwell on the negative, it is that I am trying to cope and in a way examine the “messages” I am suppose to be receiving in my recovery.

I know I am more than my body. I know this.

Is it wrong to love the feeling of flying thru the woods on a trail full of roots and rocks. To feel the wind rush past? I think not.

Tonight I pray for healing. Understanding.

Not acceptance.

I cannot get my mind around the idea of acceptance.

Advertisements

About kimnixon

Upper Peninsula Michigan Artist and Writer

Posted on March 12, 2011, in Celiac Disease, Contours, Creative Every Day 2011, Holistic Health, Memory and Memoir, Nest and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. This post does not sound negative to me at all. You always try, that’s what impresses me, you try. You rest when you can, cry if you need to and look for good in things. Keep on keeping on!

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: