Prayers & Questions
It has been a week of muscles spasms and no exercise accept for a 90-minute restorative yoga class at St Paul’s in Marquette. I did not even feel like taking photos today. I just felt like crying. Thank goodness, I am blessed with a man who can lay beside me until I calm.
I chose a different adventure. To the Marquette Food Co-op for dinner fixings and a trip to Every Day Wines for a bottle of wine.
I know nothing of wine. I am nervous it will make my condition worse. But I am hoping, too for a bit of relaxation.
My muscles spasms have raged this week, at times incapacitating me. Then sometimes they are just annoying. I almost cried at the Marquette Historical Center when I was up on the second floor trying to shoot the dome straight up and a lean to the railing almost dropped me to my knees.
My legs are even sore. (They were not the week I ran three times.)
The cramps and spasms started Sunday (today is Saturday) on the trails of Presque Isle. My body had gone into a fit. I call these flare-ups. I hurt from between my shoulders, to my toes.
Some weeks I can run 3 times for a total of 8-9 miles, go to yoga, help with a special needs swim, and hike. I can shovel snow. I can do my job with ease. Then the next week a flare has me in its grip. All I can bring forth are tears.
I thought long today on “nests” and “nesting” how I wanted to be cradled and lulled.
Some may ask, “Kim, why are you writing this and why so negative?”
It is not that I am trying to dwell on the negative, it is that I am trying to cope and in a way examine the “messages” I am suppose to be receiving in my recovery.
I know I am more than my body. I know this.
Is it wrong to love the feeling of flying thru the woods on a trail full of roots and rocks. To feel the wind rush past? I think not.
Tonight I pray for healing. Understanding.
I cannot get my mind around the idea of acceptance.
Posted on March 12, 2011, in Celiac Disease, Contours, Creative Every Day 2011, Holistic Health, Memory and Memoir, Nest and tagged #CED2011, auto immune disorders, Celiac Disease, Healing, Hope, living with illness, prayers, Recovery. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.