Getting Rooted

After yesterday’s Wishcasting Wednesday post I was able to get the courage to register for my race. Then I felt a click! I felt rooted.

I’ve been letting the wrong people have power in my life–The naysayers who question and judge what I am about.

I much rather be in the company of people who smile and say DO IT! I love positive people.

I spent today getting rooted.

1. Proper rest, 9+ hours.
2. Attended a gentle and restorative yoga class.
3. Shopped at a resale store for beauty & colorful clothing.
4. Purchased a red shirt–root chakra color :-)
5. Roasted potatoes, golden beets and carrots.
6. Spent the day in quiet stillness, homemaking.
7. Worked on the next full-moon vision board by paging thru magazines and gathering images that inspired me.

I am prepared to make the changes in my life for me to succeed in a life of health, wealth, and beauty.

The roasted veggies started with six small golden beets which I peeled and quartered. 4 Medium sized red potatoes. A heaping handful of baby carrots. 1 onion. Minced garlic and ginger. And fresh snipped flat-leaf parsley. I tossed it all in extra virgin olive oil and roasted slow in a 350 degree oven. I should have broiled them a bit at the end to brown them up some, but they were delicious and needed no salt. The ginger was zippy and the minced garlic crunchy goodness.

Wishcasting Wednesday: Health & Wellness

Each Wednesday, I participate in a gathering of women who believe in making wishes and taking steps to achieve their desires. This week Jamie asks, What do you wish for your health & wellness?

I’ve set many goals and some I feel were such a stretch that I cannot possible make it to the goal. I want to believe. But I have fears that I cannot physically get there with my body, health, and my “diagnosis.”

I start to feel strong and then another setback comes in, and another. And the hurdles seem taller and taller.

Within the space of 5-days I was glutened twice (Celiac). I missed a week of exercise and a week of physical therapy. The arthritis in the ball of my right foot screams at me as I change my footfalls to a forefoot landing (heel striker). My knee and hip feel strong running 1 mile.

My goal is to run 13.1 miles on Grand Island. I need to register for the event. I need to do so, now.

I worry what people think. I worry what I think. I worry that I may be throwing my entry fee and an extra ferry pass out the window. (want Mike to come with me)

I try to bolster my faith and my self-esteem by saying the woman in the picture who is smiling ran a 10K (1 day prior) on a tough and highly technical trail. That the woman was once afraid of heights and is in a lighthouse, outside, high-up, leaning on the railing with wind blowing. That woman ran a race with a taped-knee and then hiked waterfalls going down stairs backwards (knee pain after race) because she is determined to enjoy life.

Today, (6-months after the photo was taken) I look in the mirror and I am fearful.

I want courage. I need stamina. I need to eat clean. Drop 10-20 pounds. I need to take my recovery seriously. I need to run that race. I will run that race. I will run that race. I will run that race.

My wish is that I continue to grow strong in body, mind and spirit so I can reach for my dreams and goals.

Prayers & Questions

It has been a week of muscles spasms and no exercise accept for a 90-minute restorative yoga class at St Paul’s in Marquette. I did not even feel like taking photos today. I just felt like crying. Thank goodness, I am blessed with a man who can lay beside me until I calm.

I chose a different adventure. To the Marquette Food Co-op for dinner fixings and a trip to Every Day Wines for a bottle of wine.

I know nothing of wine. I am nervous it will make my condition worse. But I am hoping, too for a bit of relaxation.

My muscles spasms have raged this week, at times incapacitating me. Then sometimes they are just annoying. I almost cried at the Marquette Historical Center when I was up on the second floor trying to shoot the dome straight up and a lean to the railing almost dropped me to my knees.

My legs are even sore. (They were not the week I ran three times.)

The cramps and spasms started Sunday (today is Saturday) on the trails of Presque Isle. My body had gone into a fit. I call these flare-ups. I hurt from between my shoulders, to my toes.

Some weeks I can run 3 times for a total of 8-9 miles, go to yoga, help with a special needs swim, and hike. I can shovel snow. I can do my job with ease. Then the next week a flare has me in its grip. All I can bring forth are tears.

I thought long today on “nests” and “nesting” how I wanted to be cradled and lulled.
Some may ask, “Kim, why are you writing this and why so negative?”

It is not that I am trying to dwell on the negative, it is that I am trying to cope and in a way examine the “messages” I am suppose to be receiving in my recovery.

I know I am more than my body. I know this.

Is it wrong to love the feeling of flying thru the woods on a trail full of roots and rocks. To feel the wind rush past? I think not.

Tonight I pray for healing. Understanding.

Not acceptance.

I cannot get my mind around the idea of acceptance.

Get Fit with Kim–Nourish Your Life!

Safe local products from Herbal Oasis!

I tried products that I thought would be safe only to have my eyes burn with irritation. Who knew it would be so hard to find products that were gluten-free and healthy for my skin. I’ve been avoiding parabens, and products with ingredients that I will never be able to pronounce. And since my diagnosis of Celiac Disease, I’ve slowly been calling manufactures to ask if the products in my bathroom and on my dresser are safe. Sometimes the companies have no clue. Many do not have a clear list of products I can shop for, instead it necessitates I’ve a product number already in front of me. Hard to do if you want to go to a store and make a purchase.

My waste basket fills up, quickly. Some products I contribute to family or donate to organizations.

I’m lucky to have Herbal Oasis here in Marquette, Michigan. I have known business owner, Deanna Attee for many years, but only recently have I re-stocked my personal care products from her line.

Celiac Disease has done a number on my skin. Maybe it’s because I have no wheat germ and little Vitamin E in my life. Maybe it is being 47 and peri-menopausal, the hormones are pretty funky these days. My skin this winter–irritated and dry–I called Deanna and pleaded, “Help!?”

The first two products I added in were Coco-Loco Body Balm and the Skin Smoothing Facial Oil. I could tell a difference in my face immediately. I love the essential oils, there’s an aroma therapy effect. I feel more centered, hydrated and nourished. Today, I added in two more products: Renewing Eye Treatment and Gentle Facial Cleanser.

I get the joy of buying local, supporting another artisan, and being able to talk face-to-face about the product. I can ask the source of Vitamin E and trust her response. Oh, and Deanna ships her Herbal Oasis products!

Be sure to email or talk to Deanna about which of her products are gluten-free. She is very knowledgeable!

If you need to research your personal care products you can begin your education at Skin Deep and The Environmental Working Group.

Signs, signs, everywhere a sign…

Some people are worried about the birds falling from the sky. It’s a sign! But others are more worried about making it through winter with a warm home and dinner in the oven. I am grateful to put gasoline in my car and drive to work at the group home and my opportunity to earn a paycheck. There was no yoga this week as the church is holding, “Room at the Inn” here in Marquette, Michigan, churches rotate taking in the homeless during winter months. You can volunteer or donate.

I’ve been ill. I don’t hide this but I do not wallow in it. I keep fighting. I try to get well. I even gave up a full-time position on afternoon shift so I can get better rest during the week. Winter is hard and I ache. I am not sure this is just, Celiac. It might be something, else.

I’m trying to live an authentic life that fuels me, heals me. I am getting more involved with my healing. Yes this means paying the bills, slowly. But the rest I am getting is good. I am getting back to creating and focussing on earning a living through what nourishes me. I want to be well enough by spring to help out at a local farm, too.

Please check out my Etsy Store, Create with Kim! I have posted new items and there is more to come.

And if you live in Marquette, consider supporting local art by visiting, Zero Degrees Artist Cooperative and please add us on Facebook.

So here we are, 1.3 degrees farenheit this fine Upper Peninsula morning. I am armed with PhotoShop and LightRoom, laptop, lap blanket, warm fuzzy slippers in pink. I am seeing changing times. I like what I see. Boldness. Daring. I am leaping out of boxes and into the world of creation. This week is better than last.

How are you getting through winter? How are you making it better?

Creative Every Day Week Two–Nurture and Heal

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A little late, week two was rough for me. Winter is taking a toll on my physical and spiritual health. Today the sun came out and allowed me to feel energized. These photos were taken today (January 20, 2011). One of my creative projects has been to revision my studio space. To make it welcoming and to re-establish habits that feed my creativity. I am also working with lists, each day I write down things to accomplish, plans for the next day, and for the end of the week. It has kept me moving, and mostly on task.

Jan 9, Sunday

Mike and I hung the first of four new shelves at Zero Degrees Artist Cooperative. I am in the process of moving into the newly opened room. I also managed grocery shopping at a big box store. With Celiac I often feel overwhelmed by how much of these stores is off-limits for a person avoiding: gluten, corn, egg, dairy/casein and soy. This is a creative and brave act, shopping. But so is my diet.

If you visit the Zero Degrees Artist Cooperative online, the nifty slideshow is composed mostly of my photos.

Jan 10, Monday

I was a substitute teacher for art at the local middle school. Felt strong this day and ran 3 miles on the treadmill at the YMCA.

Jan 11, Tuesday

Long day at work with a mandatory employee meeting. I powered up with a smoothie. It was a beautiful smoothie!

Jan 12, Wednesday

I allowed myself a morning to refuel, sleep in, and recoup. The headed to work for 3-11.

Jan 13, Thursday

Powerfully creative day starting with Yoga. Lunch with Grandson! worked at the Zero Degrees Artist Coop and made decision on my display that included pulling smaller photos for my Etsy store.

Jan 14, Friday

Edited photos, danced around the house, and watered and groomed houseplants. Then headed to work 3-11pm.

Jan 15, Saturday

My body had felt depleted all week and I knew this, nurtured, nourished, and slept as much as possible. But my emotions bubbled all over on Saturday. But I pulled it together and Mike and I went looking for blue paint chips. We purchased 4 more shelves for the gallery. Mike helped to calm me, helped ease the tension causing muscle spasms.

I talked to Shannon at the gallery and I stated, “I look for Hope in an certain angle of light.”

She asked, “Have you written that down yet?”

I did just that. Shannon is a wonderful woman who inspires me. She always reminds me of my talents and strengths. I need those reminders during this battle back to health. I’ve been blessed woth soem wonderful women in my life over the past few months.

Different Views of My Everyday Life

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I can view myself as ill and diagnosed with a genetic disease. Or I can view myself well.

I can view my life as full of restrictions. Or I can view my life as full of options.

I can view my life as changed. Or as changing.

~Kim

NaNoWriMo–Day One

In My Own Backyard--Abundance!

NaNoWriMo Excerpts:
Abundance and making things happen. All around me have been signs of an abundant life and sometimes I am lucky enough to take notice. Like yesterday when discovered the grapes withering on yellow grape vines in my own backyard. At first, my mind went straight to how we had wasted an opportunity. Then I looked for that unseen benefit and the birds jumping around the yard and I thought my little tweeting friends were happy due to the abundance in our yard. These grapes would keep songbirds happy and well-nourished. And the textures and color opened my eyes, brought me to a pause and centered me.

River Sitting--A New Pastime

River sitting, a new pastime. Saturday I attended the Farmer’s Market and bought potato soup from Dancing Crane Cafe. I took my tiny carton of soup out to the woods at Songbird trail and sat in a third world crouch, back up against a tree, camera slung over my shoulder, sipping soup and watching water flow. I could hear the roar of the waves at the delta. Lake Superior was a force. She was making herself hear. But I took refuge under pine. Wintergreen with red berries hinted of winter. It was Devil’s Night. Michael’s Birthday. I was coming to terms with working a weekend, working the 3pm to 11pm shift, missing Michael’s Birthday, missing Halloween and my Grandson, missing Mike.

Self Portrait in River

I looked at my refection in the water and I thought it is a good time for change, my body is healing from Celiac, and I now have the strength to move forward. The sky is not always blue like on this Monday morning where I write from the sofa in my living room. Some days are gray and raining drops fall on the river. But we have soup. We can create and choose inner warmth and we can still appreciate the day. These are the steps I am taking. This is the courage to change.

Is Autumn Awaiting You?

Too rushed! I feel panic most days. I want, so badly, to slow down. But I’ve let my choices get too confused and I am forgetting that we are entering a time of release and rest. I need to touch this season and watch it fall, watch it release, watch the fragility of leaves as they crumble.

I’ve certainly been fragile. My neck so sore. I’ve a great need for naps (and I do not let my head rest). I want to color with markers at a picnic table and write with pen on brown paper lyrics, and symbols, let out the mysteries that angels whisper in my ear.

How are you moving with the seasons? And is there a new choice to make? Perhaps you’re letting go?

Please share…

21.5.800—Day 18 and Yesterday’s Run

(roughly written)

I am in the midst of dishes, laundry and packing for an overnight camping trip in our new/used 8-foot pop-up camper. It was raining this morning, but I am hoping for good weather tomorrow. I have a 3-day weekend that starts tonight (Friday) after my 3-11pm shift. I plan to hit the Marquette Farmer & Artist’s Market and pick up some Vegan Gluten-free bread from Sinfully Seductive Sweets.

So I am finding myself all in list mode, plan mode, and Capricorn all biz–E–ness modes and the last thing on my mind is opening to a stream of consciousness writing drift.

For those of you in creative-mode, I will insert a photo.

I always pack too much, now we have a smaller camper and a smaller vehicle, and really, the important thing to me is dry clothes, memory cards and batteries. Oops hold on must load the battery charger. Be right back. (Reminder to self pack less!)

I’m back. Another set of batteries are charging for the camera.

And I am thinking I ought to do some yoga. Be right back!

Okay changed loads of laundry, took compost out to big bin, and packed shoes. Hope you are enjoying the randomly chosen photos from this week.

Yesterday, yes let’s back track now, I went for a run. It was my first run since June 3 and the 5K race that I miraculously came in third, seventh overall. It was a trail run on the south Marquette bike trails on National Trails Day.

Since this fall, my body does not do well with impact. The symptoms started sketchy at first back in September, maybe even August. I would go for a run and spend hours on the floor with fists shoved into my gut. Part of this was gastric and part was spasm.

Now, if I run on too hard of surface, too fast, or on a downhill I end up with terrible pain in my right side. A spasm that feels like it is bruised intestines and part a reacting psoas and illopsoas muscle. Needless to say I am cautious. I always fear running before a work shift. I like a good 12 hours from end of run to the next time I have anything planned just in case. And I like to have the money in the bank to see chiropractor, massage therapist and or physical therapist—just in case. But I LOVE to run!!

I had some creepy tightness last night as I attended the Healer’s Coffee at L’ Attitude in Marquette, but ti eased and today I am just dealing with neck and shoulder stiffness. I am pleased.

I ran 40-45 minutes at Lil Presque and Songbird Trails for what felt like 4 miles. But since my average seems slower than that these days it was probably only 3.5 miles. I did a fair share of cool down and I was a very relaxed gal yesterday.

I am on the mend. My intestines seem to handle impact better whether from exercise, or when I get gas attacks—the next day I do not feel so bruised.

I know most of this post fits into the RunningMarquette.com or Enjoy Life Free blogs but I am meeting my commitment and making multiple posts all over the Internet is not possible today as I have to pack. Go to bank. Hit the co-op. Fold more laundry. Pack my dinner for work.

So at roughly 568 words, I am outta here. I will be doing Yoga in the woods tomorrow! I will have Mike take photos, too! Look for updates on Blog late Sunday night or Monday.